Having many friends, family members and co-workers with children for so many years leading up to having my own, I learned it takes all kinds when it comes to asking people to babysit your kid(s).
Now that I have my daughter I must admit I’m pretty appalled at how people with children treat me when it comes to inviting me to do things. I just expect them to know better, but should probably remember that just like with everything else in life, not everyone has a clue about much of anything when it comes to being aware of one’s surroundings. Raising children is no exception.
Basically, we brought this baby into the world with the idea that she was OUR choice, therefore OUR responsibility.
Did we think we were going to be able to dump her on some poor sap at the last minute on a Friday night so we could run out to the party someone invited us to 5 minutes ago and get loaded? Um, NOPE. Sorry friends, but my getting pregnant on purpose meant we consciously opted OUT of those last minute opportunities to jump in the car and spend our Friday night watching you and yours double fist beverages while you argue and bicker with your significant others, ending in my having to wash and blow dry my hair when I get home at ridiculous hours of the early morning, because I refuse to lay a head of hair that stinks like a stale ash tray on my nice clean 1200 thread count pillow case.
Yep. We knew perfectly well we would NOT be able to make these gigs. Knowing this, I’m shocked at the shit that comes out of the mouths of other mothers.
First of all, I totally get that I may not be your first priority when it comes to making plans and planning your get-togethers. But odds are if I don’t have at least two weeks notice, I’m not coming. I don’t mind it if you don’t ask me in time and I can’t make it. But I will mind it when I tell you I can’t make it because it wasn’t enough time to get a sitter and you send me drunk text messages saying “whatever bitch TTYL you always have a reason not to come out with me”. This I have a problem with.
I completely understand if it’s someone with no kids giving me the business in this manner. They don’t get it and that is perfectly fine. My issue is when this shit comes from other mothers. I’ve had some say to me “Well won’t your parents watch her if you need someone at the last minute? Won’t you be able to drop her off and go out spontaneously?”.
I’ve also had people say to me, “Well maybe you can get someone to watch her and you guys can meet us [wherever the location is that evening] in an hour”. ???
It isn’t that these things are impossible. Could I possibly ask my mother in law to watch my daughter at the last minute and would she possibly say yes? Do I have a childless friend who is probably not doing anything tonight who I could ask to come over? Is it possible they would say yes? Sure.
Could I call someone and use such shady trickery as to lead with “Hey, what are you up to tonight, anything?”, so they think I’m going to invite them to do something fun, wait for them to say “No, I’m free”, then hit them with the reality that I don’t really want their company and they’re not good enough at that moment for me to invite them to do the fun thing I want to go out and do tonight, but that they’re the LUCKY ones who get to wipe my kid’s poopy butt all night? Of course I could.
Do I want to be a complete asshole and RUIN someone else’s evening? NO, and this is why you’ll never see me do this.
Here’s the deal, mothers-who-do-this-shit-at-the-last-minute. I guaran-damn-tee that no one is sitting down, trying to figure out how they’re going to spend their Friday or Saturday evening after working all week, thinking “Man, I wish one of my friends or relatives with small children would call me and ask me to spend my evening with their high maintenance infant or toddler. I really feel like trying to entertain a little person ALL evening. If they’re learning to walk, bending over holding their little hands for hours at a time and walking around in this position is going to make me feel GREAT tomorrow. Even better, arguing with someone about whether their mommy REALLY lets them eat a box of fudge rounds then go to bed at midnight, so I should let them too, is exactly what I envisioned all week for the perfect weekend. Wouldn’t it be a HOOT??? I just can’t think of a better way to unwind and let my hair down. Who can I drunk text to see who is up for this tonight??”.
Nope. So next time you feel like complaining to everyone who will listen to your drunk ass about how I never go out now that I have a baby, weigh your options. I could be the pain in the ass cornering you into wiping snot off my baby’s face and tending to her diaper rash for 6 hours while I go out and do something fun at the last minute after NOT having invited you to come with me.
